Change - Blind Melon

This song reminds me of Picasso's quote, "Every act of creation is first an act of destruction".

I don't feel the sun's comin' out today
It's staying in, it's gonna find another way, yeah, hey
As I sit here in this misery
I don't think I'll ever no long' seen the sun from here

He is going through an extremely difficult time in his life & he feels no warmth or happiness. He feels only sickness, sorrow and complete darkness.

And, oh, as I fade away
They'll all look at me and say and they'll say
"Hey, look at him", I'll never live that way
And that's okay, they're just afraid to change

He "fades away" from real life in order to go on a journey. He begins a voyage into the invisible. Maybe he is "around" physically but not actually around mentally, emotionally, spiritually, socially. He is virtually "elsewhere" on some type of quest for knowledge. In this foreign land, he thinks he is traveling with someone he loves, but each time he tries to break through to reality he is shot down. He has been trying to reach this person he loves in a LIVE manner and when he attempts to do this, trauma results. He is not only told that he is wrong about his journey, he is also crazy, sick & a stalker. He is informed that he is a man in need of some serious help. This makes him feel upset and incredibly wounded. The people who are aware of what is happening to him see him in both reality & in the unfamiliar territory. Most likely, they wouldn't choose to live the way he is living. Most would not want to go through such trauma, heartache and actual hell. This man has been called most every name in the book, was thrown into prison, has had friends & loved ones dismiss him & has actually been isolated and abandoned by society. He knows that many people are happy in their lives. But he also knows some who aren't. Still, they probably wouldn't choose to go through massive agony in order to foster change in their lives. Upheaval can be so stressful, disruptive and challenging. It seems so much easier to stay in a compromised situation simply out of convenience. He knows he is brave for facing incredible pain, misery and suffering in order to create change in his life.

Ah, when you feel life ain't worth living
You've got to stand up and take a look around
You look up way to the sky
Hey and when your deepest thoughts are broken
Keep on dreaming boy, 'cause when you stop dreamin' it's time to die

Certain ventures/ordeals/changes produce SEVERE pain. But daring to withstand the injuries & turmoil creates growth. When a person feels his life is not worth living, he is in a terrible place. It is a point where he feels that nothing else matters anymore. He thinks.. Why care about anything? In his mind, every action he has to go through is stupid, meaningless and a cruel joke. In his opinion, not only are most people rotten liars - even nature is a farce. Everyone & Everything is a part of the plot to take him down. He kicks at the trees. Life is a gigantic conspiracy and everyone understands the gist of it except for him. He is at the lowest point in his life, stuck in a damaged & collapsed state. He feels destroyed. At this juncture, when he is deeply entrenched in his loneliness and sorrow his ego finally splits at the root. Ouch. This is when he becomes completely empty & hollow. Paradoxically, this is also when he becomes something. When he sees no joy in life, no humour, no thrill, no motivation, no desire, no hope, obviously this is when he wants out. It is ALSO exactly when he begins "living". Somehow he finds the strength to get out of bed in the morning. Or not. It doesn't matter. What matters is he's not dead. Life will go on. Maybe he has kids or a shiny penny or an uncle who needs tending.. SOMETHING is making him go on. Who knows what it is or what to call it, it is just a simple miracle that it is inside of him. He can shake his fist at a fraud god & homeless dogs or whatever is pissing him off at the moment because he hates how everything is broken. He sees how much is wrong with the world.. Yet up until this point, he must have some teeny kernel inside of him which has kept him alive. Maybe it is just "luck" or "chance" or "accident" or "adaptation" that he continues living. Whatever it is, he is telling us that each day is a pretty cool opportunity to utilize. He is telling us to create vision for ourselves and try to see it through. He is urging us to continue dreaming that life WILL get better. This brutal shitphase isn't how it is going to be forever.

And as we all play parts of tomorrow, oh, no, no
Some ways we'll work, in other ways we'll play, yeah, yeah
But I know we can't all stay here forever, oh
So I want to write my words on the face of today
And then they'll paint it up

Where is the place people refer to as "the brink"? The brink is not the end. Because he speaks of tomorrow we know he is not going to kill himself today. He knows that some parts of life are tedious & boring, but in his past he has also experienced joy and fun. He knows they can come around again. He also knows that he will not be a living human on earth forever, therefore he wants to take advantage of today by writing a beautiful & meaningful song which will forever bring people hope & pleasure. He is writing his words on the face of today. He has experienced depression, trauma, betrayal, anger, bewilderment & frustration.. He has lived through an intense period of yearning for a better life. His amazing song about change is a bridge between yesterday and tomorrow; between the "old" self and the "new" self. Our listening to his song and processing it for our own personal growth is the painting it up part.. He is the inspiration.

And, oh, as I fade away, yeah
They'll all look at me and say, they'll say
"Hey, look at him and where he is these days"
When life is hard, you have to change
When life is hard, you have to change

Now as he fades away, he is shedding the old him. He is not afraid of anything which might come next. He has gone through a tremendous process of enlarging his mind (his Blind Melon). He has endured & triumphed over immense difficulties in his life. He is letting us know that when a person dies a figurative death, eventually he moves into a more interesting realm. He is singing praise for change, growth and new life. He is saying when life is hard, you have to transcend the pain and develop yourself.

The moment I first laid ears into this track it became one of my favourite songs. It is absolutely tragic that Shannon Hoon died. Everything about this song is genius. His musical influences included the Grateful Dead, The Beatles, John Lennon, Bob Dylan, and Led Zeppelin and I hear them in this song. I give thanks to Shannon Hoon for writing this gorgeous piece about CHANGE.

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